Guatemala has 37 volcanoes 3 are active. Here is Amber and I infront of one of them! 

Flash back to month one debrief when we were asked to envision Jesus, I envisioned him how I always used to. He was in front of me leading me up a mountain ( maybe a volcano lol) to the finish line with his hand outstretched to pull me along if I needed help.  I knew the "right" response was to depend on God and take his hand, but that's not what my heart wanted. Independent me wanted to earn my own self-righteousness. I used the bible as a manually script and set off. However, I was constantly anxious about making enough progress and stressing about taking a wrong step. Were my steps even forward? Or was I just side stepping cause that dang finish line looked just as far away as it did when I started. 

Have you ever ran a race or climbed a mountain? Is your race work? school? A relationship? Success? Happiness? Purpose? Maybe you climbed that mountain and got glimpses of something beautiful, but quickly realized it fell short of what you were seeking. " Grass always seems greener on the other side" classic response people tell you to make you settle. But I ain't about settling and I am here to tell you grass is greener, greener on the other side of the finish line. Only its not a race you need to run. It's a race that Jesus already finished for you. He took sin, law, self-righteousness and conquered it. Not because he died, anyone can die but cause was resurrected. He conquered death so that we can have life. The race has already been won. He stuck us on the finish line so that we could walk freely in his love and grace. So why is that mountain never getting smaller? It's cause I was trying to run a race that was already finished. 

So now I asked God how I view him. And this is what I see.

I start on top, already at the finish line. God put me in front because he trusts me enough to lead the way. It doesn't matter if I choose right or left, up or down. God has many plans for me Jeremiah 29:10 he doesn't just have one plan. He uses whatever we choose for constant renewal and revelation. He isn't concerned with our small steps, he is concerned with his overall purpose to love us and give us life. If I am unsure I can look up towards God the North Star for guidance or look back to Jesus for reassurance. Do I depend on him and follow him absolutely, but not because I have to. Trust in the law and you'll be made aware of your unworthiness and shortcomings, feel guilty and tired. Trust in Jesus and you'll experience Grace and Love free from all expectations because he already fulfilled them. 

1 John 5:4-5 Hebrews 10:10